army mythology 2

Army Mythology Item #2398: Every Spider is a Brown Recluse

The Army is notorious for its incessant safety briefings. Since most of Army training occurs in the south with its attendant venomous creatures, these briefings always include warnings about wildlife. One of the most feared and hated of these creatures is the dreaded brown recluse.

One of the instructors at the lane where we captured this spider admonished us severely because it was a brown recluse – and everyone knows, you don’t mess around with brown recluses.

This is what a brown recluse looks like. Notice that it’s no bigger than a quarter. The one we captured was the size of my fist. Good lord, if brown recluses were that big, they’d rule the damn earth!

Furthermore, apparently brown recluses aren’t nearly as dangerous as everyone thinks. See here:

http://www.ama-assn.org/amednews/2002/08/05/hlsa0805.htm

and here:

http://spiders.ucr.edu/avoidbites.html

Reading all this crap about spiders sure creeps me out, though. Blah! Actually, I was thinking about that while at the FOB – what if we were preparing to battle not humans, but giant bugs, who at any time could come clambering over the concertina wire? I think I’d just kill myself.