Postcards from Tradocia


XteenB: No fairies in our world.
XteenB: Just space vampires and kitty pirates
XteenB: and a marmot
Delobius: damn those hobbits and fairies.
Delobius: vampire pirate marmots?
XteenB: absolutely!
XteenB: you can’t trust cute furry animals
Delobius: lol…I’m seeing a marmot with pointy teeth and an eyepatch sticking its head out of a hole on the Pike’s Peak road.
Delobius: *hisss*
XteenB: Arrrg…hiss…

XteenB: and he’s peeking out of a flying den.
XteenB: hovering, perhaps
Delobius: lmao…yes…sticking his head straight down out of an airship with a hole in the bottom.
XteenB: He looks so innocent and frightened.
XteenB: You get close to him and he squeels.
XteenB: Then you turn your back and…arrrrg, he bites you in the neck!
XteenB: and steals your jewelry.
Delobius: and when they attack, they come hurtling down at high velocity like bombs, and hit the ground in a big explosion, and when the smoke clears they come running out with one eye glowing red.
XteenB: one eye glowing red–great!
Delobius: because of course the other is covered by the eyepatch.
XteenB: of course
XteenB: and instead of a parrot they have a moth on their shoulder?
Delobius: and they take the stolen jewelry and affix it to their eyepatches, which then become a testament to how many victims they’ve taken.
Delobius: LOL…a moth
XteenB: it can’t be a butterfly cause that’s too gay.
Delobius: which unfortunately means senior vampire-pirate-marmots (LOL) aren’t very stealthy because their eyepatches jingle.
XteenB: rofl
Delobius: lmao…and so the really ancient ones go running in to attack with huge gold chains dragging on the ground behind them.
XteenB: and since they live forever, that’s a lot of bling
XteenB: but they have vampire strength thankfully
Delobius: but…! they can use the chains as weapons as well…!
XteenB: of course!!
Delobius: swinging their powerful marmot necks and bashing opponents before sucking them dry…
XteenB: I’m about to cry


  1. Spikebot

    K. Let’s be having it. You’ll get constructive criticism from me. Gimme an email if you want.

  2. Jason

    as long as there’s a marmot, i’m in

  3. Krysta

    My friend just returned from a trip to South Dakota and has sent me a picture of a marmot! Please post your story!

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