Postcards from Tradocia

raw sewers

So I’m replaying Final Fantasy VII, and barely four hours into the game I’ve hit the seemingly-mandatory sewer sequence.

God damn it, I’m tired of sewers. Every…fucking…roleplaying game has a sewer sequence. FFVII, Xenogears, Chrono Cross, and basically every other Playstation RPG has one. Going back to the Super Nintendo, Chrono Trigger and Final Fantasy III (VI) both had prominent sewer operations. In even more crusty ancient times, most Nintendo games may have well taken place in sewers because everything looked the same anyway. I’m sure I’m forgetting quite a few but you get the point.

As Old Man Murray so eloquently put it,

Okay, how about this: A priest, a dog, and Tim Gerritsen walk into a bar and see a Rune level designer at work. The Priest says, “Good Lord, man, why did you make a hundred sewer levels?” The level designer says, “Those aren’t sewers, they’re dwarven aqueducts! Oh God, who am I kidding, I was thinking about wookies and I guess I blacked out.”

No one will get that but me, but trust me, it’s both relevant AND hilarious.

4 Comments

  1. sec

    Google…http://www.airsept.com/odor_id.html

    How Air Conditioning (A/C) System Odors Develop:

    Microbial contaminants (bacteria, mold, fungus) are naturally present in the air. Moisture, darkness, and warmth are the 3 key ingredients necessary for microbial growth to occur on surfaces. Moisture (condensation) forms on the evaporator as it cools the air. Some of this moisture drains out of the system, but some of this moisture remains in the dark plenum chamber. The naturally-occurring microbial contaminants utilize the moisture that does not drain out of the A/C system as a food source & breeding ground. Once the A/C system is shut off, the dark plenum chamber warms up to a temperature that stimulates and accellerates microbial growth.

  2. Bryce and Lola

    Glad you’ve been living a plush life. See you soon. Liebe, G&G

  3. sec

    “What a shock Kuwait’s going to be after living in this swank hotel…”

    Are you sure about that? Check out:

    http://tinyurl.com/54kc3

    “Inside the concertina wire and perimeter lights of the forward operating bases — FOBs — everything is air-conditioned. The electricity is always on, powered by roaring diesel generators. There are chow halls with American food — spaghetti and pork cutlets are popular. Camp Victory, the huge base north of the Baghdad airport, has a short-order grill, where burgers and Philly cheesesteaks are made to order, a salad bar, a pizza bar, a sandwich bar and an ice cream bar.

    Camp Victory also has what the troops call “the mother of all PXes.” You can buy DVDs and DVD players, CDs, candy, gum and protein powder. There are TVs, gas grills, air conditioners, microwave ovens and even picnic benches. There are women’s thong underwear and condoms.

    The bases have Internet cafes, weight rooms, basketball courts, phone centers and snack bars. Burger King has a stand outside the Camp Victory PX.

  4. Mrs. Melobi Delobi

    I just hope you don’t encounter situations like the “labrat’s” of A Labrats [sic] Journal (http://www.desertdiet.blogspot.com/).

    “Still have some tuna but no rice, Jasmine rice is the best I’ve heard. One of the communication marines that works nights with me is making me a sign for my door that says “DAY SLEEPER.” Maybe people will quit knocking on the door all day long like they did today. The door is only thin plywood and when knocked upon gives quite the bang. So six females in one room, all married with kids, this should be fun!”

    and

    “Then reality hit with patients and the fact that there is no toilet paper and port o johns that are almost full to the top! I don’t know what is up with supplies but we are out of everything. Dinner tonight was egg noodles and french fries, no meat again. We are out of everything and still no mail. All in all today was not a bad day. The computer was down and the phone was down for awhile, so I couldn’t email Tony tonight.”

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