Something is seriously wrong with the Mountain Dew in this country.
Granted, I’m not a big fan of the Dew in any event, but even a casual drinker of the stuff could detect that the taste isn’t quite right. Actually, “not quite right” is an understatement – it tastes like crap in a can.
Until recently, I had dismissed the phenomenon as just some kind of weird regional variation in flavor. However, one day JoKur made a surprising observation: the Mountain Dew cans have no copyright or trademark symbols on them whatsoever.
Having investigated myself, I present to you Exhibit A: a comparison of Mountain Dew and Pepsi cans.
Note, on #2, the “R” mark next to the Pepsi logo, and also on #4 after the Pepsi logo, as well as the Pepsi Arabia website. Notice that the Mountain Dew can is conspicuously lacking any such markings. I’m not a Pepsi expert (in fact, I hate it), but I’m pretty sure that “Mountain Dew” is a registered trademark and would be protected as such.
Unless…the terrorists are manufacturing bootleg Mountain Dew and selling it to KBR! I can see it now: Zarqawi sitting in a dimly lit basement, overseeing his dirty minions; one team is painstakingly assembling IEDs from coffee makers and goat parts, while another team operates the home-made canning machine, pouring beakers of carbonated yellow liquid into each one. “Damn it, get those cans ready! The infidel is thirsty and soon he’ll be tasting the carbonated corn-syrup beverage of vengeance!!