Postcards from Tradocia

army pictionary 1


The first in an exclusive series…it’s What the Hell Is This Thing (or Mysterious Army Equipment)?

Is it a Tactical Nut Cracker? Humvee Ejection Handle? Post your best guesses in the comments (and no fair guessing right! I’m looking for ridiculous here)! The best guess will receive a special, limited edition email, virtually autographed by me!

UPDATE: Of course, it’s a circuit-card puller – used to remove printed circuit boards from the mysteriously and descriptively named “communications modem” (no, it’s not a 56k). I think I like Mrs. Melobi’s or SGT Thompson’s ideas best…


  1. Mrs. Melobi

    Industrial strength single-staple stapler. For use on binding sets of regulations. Can double as a handle for said bound set of regs.

  2. Mom and Dad

    Removable building/statue anchor, hand-held, ANP00037856, being withdrawn from service because of New York Times article alleging the 2 3/4″ armor plate wasn’t tempered correctly by Halliburton.

    It’s being replaced by carbon fiber reinforced Dairy Queen cones, manufactured by DEM-KOPF Corporation (Hilary Clinton sits on the board of directors), with warning lights and liability disclaimers written by Democrat lawyers.

    The ice cream cones won’t be nearly as tough as the previous model, but the Sierra Club says this will save the endangered Camel Spider.

    Also, according to Al Jazeera, the shape of the discontinued model was too reminiscent of the Knight’s Templar’s shields and tunics.

    Oprah Winfrey, appearing at Camp Pendleton, California, was seriously injured when she mistakenly put ice cream into the new model and chomped down it…

  3. Bryce and Lola

    It’s obviously a MK 12 mosquito squasher. Tuis is the most needed device in the military inventory.
    LOve G&G

  4. Gus

    Device that measures the size of ones foot – 1976 model.

  5. Jason Schneider

    It’s the army’s version of the Mac Cracker, a device to open the computer cases so you can work on the inside. Unfortunately it breaks the cases about 2/3 of the time, rendering the computer worthless in the process.

  6. Marx

    It’s a Circuit Card Puller…

  7. kelly

    Its got to be a door handle- no area to load-I felt it would be handy to remove all the cloaked debrie in my brain, it settles in nice rectangular shapes, just right for such a device.

  8. sec

    It’s a combat helmet sizer. Used to measure the size of your head. Sort of like the devices shoe stores use to measure your shoe size.

  9. Reskis mom

    How did you smuggle a Dritz Ezy Hem guide into the country? How ingenious.

  10. SGT "Doc" Thompson

    I’m afraid I’m going to have to report you to CID. You’ve located a piece of a secret prototype of the RLPDS-1544c. The Rail Launched Personnel Delivery System will deliver specialized troops to the enemy area of control and past the Forward Line of Troops in the new battlefield. Troops will be attached onto one of these handles in each hand. Then a gravitational ray will propel them on a rail guided system at a speed of 432MPH to their destination like one of those cannon people from the circus.

    The enemy will never expect us to hurl troops at them instead of bullets and artillery shells.

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