Postcards from Tradocia

ants ants ANTS

The goddamn ants have the run of the place now.

At first, they were just here and there. Oops, dropped a cookie crumb – a few hours later, I’d find a few ants milling around. Now, their response time is literally measured in minutes, suggesting a command and control system rivalling that of the US Army. I’m not joking – if you leave a food item unattended for fifteen minutes, the ants will be on it.

Mrs. Melobi sent me some peanut butter – a handy snack for days when it’s too hot to walk the 3/4 mile to the DFAC for lunch (which is every day). I opened it yesterday. Today, I picked it up and it was covered in shiny columns of marching ants – they had managed to get inside the jar, even though it was completely closed!

Incredibly pissed, I threw away almost all the food I had, even sealed stuff – I can’t eat a whole box of Ritz crackers in one day, so what use are they? Once they’re open, they’re done.

I find it incredibly hard to believe that this doesn’t happen back home. Are you really going to tell me that I don’t have to hermetically seal every potentially edible item against vermin attack? I seem to remember leaving bread and other food items completely uncovered for hours back at the house – such an act here would find you welcoming your new ant overlords when you came back from shift!

Thankfully, no mice have reappeared – my room had mouse poop in the corners when I moved in, but none since – but I think that’s mostly because no living thing bigger than an ant would want to live in the blasted wasteland that is Camp Liberty.

9 Comments

  1. SGT Thompson

    Do you need some tupperware sent over? Or perhaps some Tupperware inside of an ammo can? I wanna see ants get inside a jar inside some Tupperware inside of an ammo can.

    Not that the kommando-ants cannot do it, I just wanna see it.

  2. Anonymous

    We had ant problems just as bad when I lived in Spain (Rota), and had the same problem when we we stayed at a vacation home in Hawaii a couple years ago. We started keeping all of our food either in the fridge or in the microwave since those were the only places the ants couldn’t get into. It’s a pain in the ass, I know.

    Can you get bug spray over there, or can someone send you some?

  3. Papa Ray

    If you can get someone to send you some Boric acid or you can buy it over there take and mix it about half and half with regular suger and vineger.

    Make the mixture a little thicker than paint and using a paint brush brush it around the outside of windows,doors and other openings.

    You will have to reapply of course if it gets washed off or after a few weeks.

    Works very good, handed down from our Great, Great Grandmother.

    Or of course you could by some of the new stuff made to kill ants, but almost all of them are to be used on the nests, not around the house.

    Oh, most ants (except some I heard of from South America) hate water, so build a moat around your crib and keep filled with water. Heh..

    Continue the mission.

    Papa Ray
    West Texas
    USA

  4. Papa Ray

    If you can get someone to send you some Boric acid or you can buy it over there take and mix it about half and half with regular suger and vineger.

    Make the mixture a little thicker than paint and using a paint brush brush it around the outside of windows,doors and other openings.

    You will have to reapply of course if it gets washed off or after a few weeks.

    Works very good, handed down from our Great, Great Grandmother.

    Or of course you could by some of the new stuff made to kill ants, but almost all of them are to be used on the nests, not around the house.

    Oh, most ants (except some I heard of from South America) hate water, so build a moat around your crib and keep filled with water. Heh..

    Continue the mission.

    Papa Ray
    West Texas
    USA

  5. Bryce and Lola

    See if you can find some “terro” at your PX or whatever. We’ve found that it really works. You just pour it on a piece of cardboard and put it on the floor where the little devils seem to be coming in. They gather by the hundreds slurping it up and run back to the nest to tell the rest about it. The poison then kills off the whole colony and in a few days they are all gone. If you can’t get any over there let us know and we’ll send you a few bottles. Love G&G

  6. frazzledsister

    We have something like that every spring. Somebody imported Asian beetles to eat the aphids, who were destroying the farmer’s bean crop. So now we have hundreds of the nasty creatures all over every spring. I sympathize with you.

  7. Mrs. Melobi

    Your audience is there for Delobius, willing to help you solve any problem. Now, however, you need to post everyday so we know that the ants haven’t won and carried your body off to their queen. First your peanute butter, then your razor — I’m a little frightened for you. What can your SAW do against so many sterile, lungless, slaves whose race has existed for 100 million years?

  8. Darth Pontificus

    Fortunately for us the insurgents are not ants, or beetles for that matter, because as Melobi said, they would be highly resistant to machine guns.

    I remember in one of my generals at Madison, I think it was Zoology, the professor told us that beetles are the most successful species of animal on the planet. Perhaps we should pull our race out of the war against insects. After all, we’ve lost thousands of people over centuries to fatal bug bites. Call the UN and tell them to start plans for evacuation of Earth to Mars.

  9. nc

    Try these tips http://www.dfwpest.com/ants.htm. Close up photos of the creatures may help Id them and devise a strategy to counter the formicidae insurgency. Please include a tape measurement along side the photos.

    Best wishes.

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