SGT Dock sends this missive from Iraq, showing that while life in a war zone is sometimes dangerous and exciting, it’s mostly boring and frustrating.
The following is hilarious if you’re a military guy; probably less so if you’re not. It’s hilarious because everyone who’s been on a radio net has had an experience like this…
Life is so damn boring here. I can’t believe I’ve been extended to sit at the radio for nothing. I could be saving lives. I could be doing something of merit. But instead, I listen to the dumbest that New Jersey has to offer.
One guy really like to say that he “advises” me, every time he calls. I told him: “Just send me the message. You don’t have to advise me of what your message is, just send the damn thing.
You don’t have to make the shh noise, it does it on its own.”
Now everyone says the advised thing just to fuck with me. Goddamn assholes.
I also hate the command center. They love to constantly re-identify who they are and who they are talking to after 5 transmissions.
“North ECP this is Snake Main”
“Main. This is North, send it.”
“Roger North ECP, Snake Main. What is the status of your testfire pit.”
“Roger North ECP, Snake Main. I copy that your test fire pit is hot. Time:Now.”
(pause for disgust) “>sigh<, Roger." "Snake Main, out." Look asshole. After the first time we started this exchange I knew who you were. And you don't have to tell me that it is 'Time:Now.' I know what fucking time I made the fuckin' thing hot. It was 10 minutes from ten minutes ago; now shut up and just say roger out. There is no photocopying going on. Then the Battle Captain calls on the phone and says that I cannot truncate 'North ECP' to 'North' or 'Snake Main' to simply 'Main'. I must use proper radio procedures. Well, jackass...there is no spot in the RTO manual that says you have to constantly re-identify who you are talking to every time you key the mike. And fuck that "time:now" crap.