Anybody in the military reading this article from the New York Times will find it instantly familiar. PowerPoint Hell, run by PowerPoint Rangers, who are in turn directed by Good Idea Fairies, is a place that we all have to visit once in a while. Inspired by this article, I’d like to begin a series showcasing some of the finest home-grown PowerPoint follies that I can find in my own corner of PPT-Hell (with all consideration to OPSEC, of course).

These quotes come from a recent briefing about Iraq and Kuwait.

The purpose of this briefing:

To gain the Commander’s concurrence and/or decision that results in
an approved deployed restated mission statement and commander’s
planning guidance.

What? My jaw hurts just reading that, let alone trying to say it.

Next, from the S2 (intelligence) portion of the brief, regarding likely threats inside Kuwait:

Most likely form of threat activities include; verbal insults, hand
jesters, rock throwing and theft.

(Emphasis mine.) This line highlights the dangers of spellcheck – sure, “jesters” is a correctly-spelled word, but…

Finally, the S2 (once again) answers the question: just how big is Iraq?

slightly more than twice the size of Idaho

Oh. Since, you know, Idaho is the benchmark by which we measure the size of things. Isn’t there already a state that’s twice the size of Idaho? That’d be California, by the way.