After two weeks together, the company is just starting to wear in. Like the parts of a machine, groups of people need time to break in before operating at full efficiency; each person and group has different threads and teeth and splines and ratios and hardnesses, all of which must be reconciled if the group is to work together. Some are composed of materials too hard, or have broken parts, or are too worn down, and thus will never align with others, reducing the effectiveness of the whole.

In the Army, assembling a team is often like putting an engine together using spare parts picked randomly from a mixed bin while blindfolded. You don’t always get to choose your people, so you just take a look and hope you got good ones. The idea of the military system is that, ideally, everyone is as close to a baseline spec as possible, so that you’ll be putting your engine together with parts from a single blueprint, instead of some from a Nissan V6 and others from a Cummins turbo diesel and others from a leaf-blower. This works about as well as can be expected, but it doesn’t account for differences in personality, which seem to account for most of team problems.

Team S6 is coming along well, since by blind luck (remember, blindfolded parts-picking) we ended up with a compatible team. Our integration with the rest of the staff, though, is not going so well. Already we’re falling into the old computer guy trap of responding to immediate requests as they come in, rather than prioritizing and directing traffic, which is turning our operation into a dog’s breakfast of scribbled notes, hastily-made spreadsheets (fucking spreadsheets!) and terse e-mails. Hopefully, this will just be a temporary phase during annual training, so that when we arrive at the mobilization site, we can reboot our operation in a more structured mode.

We’re also suffering from the “too many chiefs, not enough Indians” problem, being rank heavy. We have a captain, a warrant officer, an E-7 (soon E-8), an E-6 (soon E-7), another E-6, and two E-5s. Sergeants and officers all, we’re all used to giving orders and getting things done, which makes for a lot of crossed paths.

My dad always says that alcohol is a “social lubricant,” and we applied some of that last night, since the first sergeant surprisingly “lit the lamp,” as they say, and allowed us to drink – two drink maximum! We drank while playing a couple of rousing games of Three-Dragon Ante, and while Borg barfed during the night (he blamed it on the canned oysters), we enjoyed ourselves, breaking in the team and looking ahead to the next year together.

Perhaps ironically, our first task on the first day of this new deployment was weapons qualification. Unlike The Last Time, in which every training event was laden with portent and every task a reminder of the grim, guns-blazing drive to Baghdad we were about to face – I’m not gonna lie to you, we’re gonna get hit! – this journey begins with a jaded attitude of “let’s get this Army shit out of the way so we can get to the desk work.”

[An aside about The Last Time: inevitably, this deployment will be continually compared to the last one. Unfortunately, this entire thing will be viewed through a lens of comparison, which I think will reduce greatly the sharpness of my observations. I'll try to keep things as fresh as possible, since I'm getting tired of my comparisons already, and I'm only on day three.]

Stone cold pistol shooter

Does this look like a guy who fixes your computer?

In a rare fit of common sense, it was decided that everyone “going forward” would only qualify with the M9 pistol instead of the M4 carbine, mostly for logistical reasons I suppose, since there’s no sense in transporting a bunch of weapons for people who will never use them. I was thrilled about the news, since a) I’d never qualified with the M9 and b) it’s a much shorter, easier qualification process, which meant less time spent soaking up the sun (or rain or…) at the range. At least, that was the idea – an idea which would be proven wrong in short order. Like some sort of blob, weapons qualification always expands to fill all available time, regardless of the difficulty or length of the task.

We arrived at the range at 0730, but it took hours for the range to open, for various reasons that remain unclear to me. Then, firing was repeatedly interrupted for aircraft flyovers, since apparently any air traffic shuts down range operations, no matter how high or what the flight path looks like. My turn to shoot came around 1100, and after a warmup round, I shot expert, hitting 27 of 30 targets. This may sound like a great feat of marksmanship, but you get 40 rounds to hit 30 targets, and the targets are all E-type silhouettes, which are human torso size. The targets are ranged from five to twenty-five meters, and all hits count, which makes for a fairly easy course of fire, if one has experience with a pistol.

I spent the rest of the day on the line, serving as a range safety. Luckily the weather was good – hazy and 60s and 70s – and we somehow avoided being rained on. Unfortunately, some had a great deal of difficulty with the M9 (mostly because of flinching), which meant I spent about eight hours on the line, until we broke for dinner, only to return for night fire.

That’s not to say that we ended up with a company of expert pistoliers; some had a great deal of difficulty, largely because of flinching. After my turn at shooting, I was pulled for range safety duty, so I spent the rest of the day in a road construction vest, checking pistols and picking up spent brass. I guess the vest was so that the range safeties wouldn’t get hit by any passing dump trucks or something.

We bitched mightily about night fire, though we were in bed before midnight, which is more than you can say if you’re shooting rifles at night. Despite everyone’s grousing at the time, I can’t now elucidate why this range was particularly bad. In light of some of the ranges I’ve visited in my service, it was downright functional. Maybe it just seemed inappropriate to start a year of Army time without bitching, warranted or otherwise.

This morning, my windshield looked like this:

April windshield

More pictures of “spring” here.

It’s just a footlocker, but that few cubic feet might as well contain a black hole, creating an event horizon beyond which I cannot see. Staring into the box, trying to decide how to fill it, I’m gripped with indecision. What to bring, when your life for the next year is reduced to three bags and a box?

This weekend, we loaded our bags for shipment overseas. We won’t see them until the peak of summer in the mideast desert, when the hot-on-the-eyeballs wind greets us and we curse it from the very first blast. It’ll be like a time capsule, opening that box to see what I thought was important months ago. I hope my foresight is accurate.

The load so far consists almost completely of comfort and entertainment, since all essentials will be provided. A blanket and some sheets will give color to our cell, and will beat sleeping in a bag for a year. A practice pad, books, and sticks will let me practice my drumming, since even a Rock Band set is impractical in our shared quarters. Board games, my new obsession, will help pass the time, though I have a burning desire to fill the entire box with them, so desperate am I to avoid boredom. Other tools and useful equipment round out the load, though I can’t help but think that I’m forgetting something critical.

The whole thing veers into life-as-RPG territory, as I visit the item shop to get geared up for the unknown mission. Inventory space is limited, so you have to try to cover all the bases, yet not spread yourself too thin so as to have bits of useless stuff. Luckily, my base stats are good, so equipment doesn’t matter as much, but still…

On the night before drill, I felt like I was really leaving the next day, as I scrambled to throw things into the box. I had to remind myself that I wasn’t really leaving, that there was still a month to go, and that it’s not like we’re deploying to Mars. If something gets left home, I can acquire it or have it sent to me. But now that the bags have been packed away I feel much better, as if the physical weight of that stuff was an emotional weight as well, a weight now lifted. Maybe it’s that by loading that trailer full of bags, it’s a concrete signal that this journey, so long discussed and anticipated, is really about to begin, and I’ll do it with nothing more than I can carry on my back. Or, maybe it’s that I should heed Friar Laurence’s advice to Romeo:

A pack of blessings lights up upon thy back;
Happiness courts thee in her best array;
But, like a misbehaved and sullen wench,
Thou pout’st upon thy fortune and thy love:
Take heed, take heed, for such die miserable.

Indeed, there are many worse ways to start a journey than  friends at your side, sixty pounds of bags stuffed with ceramic, velcro, and ballistic nylon, and your loved ones, wishing well, at your back, waiting for your return.

I’ve been playing so much of this damn game lately (and thinking about it, and dreaming about it, and reading about it, and…) that I figured I should pimp it on here. It’s great! Here’s why:

THE FORMAT

A Game of Thrones (or AGoT) was originally a conventional CCG like Magic: The Gathering, but later became FFG’s first foray into a Living Card Game (LCG). In the LCG format, each card pack has a fixed set of cards instead of a random one, and chapter packs (as boosters are called) are released on a more-or-less monthly basis. To date, there are five series of chapter packs with six packs each, four “deluxe” boxed expansions, and the core set. Total cost (MSRP) for one of every product is $490, though you certainly don’t need one of everything and you might want more than one of some others.

The basis of the game is FFG’s favorite new term, the Core Set. It’s $40 and has four preconstructed decks of 45 cards each, the rulebook, and a cute little board and miniatures that are used when playing with more than 2 people. Like Warhammer: Invasion, you can just buy the Core Set and be done with it; unlike Warhammer, the precon decks are a little boring and you’ll quickly find yourself wanting at least a few more cards to round out the game.

Each of the four boxed expansions is a little different. Two of them – Kings of the Sea and Princes of the Sun – each add another faction to the game (Greyjoy and Martell, for you Martin fans). The other two – Kings of the Storm and Lords of the North – expand on existing factions (Baratheon and Stark, respectively).

The chapter packs are arranged into “cycles” of six packs each, with each cycle having some sort of unifying thematic and mechanical concept. For example, the Time of Ravens cycle focuses on a “seasons” mechanic, where players can make it “winter” or “summer,” which is both thematic and game-changing. For the first four cycles, the packs were 40 cards each, with some cards being 1 per pack and others being 3 per pack. The last cycle (and all others going forward) has 3 of each card for a total of 60 cards per pack.

THE MECHANICS

I’m not going to break down the entire rulebook here; as with all FFG products, it’s available on their site, along with the official FAQ. Instead, I’m going to highlight three of the mechanics that I think make the game kick ass.

All men must dieThe first is the plot deck. The plot deck is a separate deck that contains seven cards; each turn, each player chooses one of his plot cards and reveals it. Your plot card determines your income, initiative, and claim value (which determines how much damage you inflict during challenges, to be discussed later) for that turn, in addition to having some other game effect. Once a plot card is used, you cannot use it again until you have cycled through all seven of your plots (if the game lasts that long, which it often doesn’t).

Obviously, selecting your plot cards is a crucial part of deckbuilding because they need to provide enough income to play your cards, as well as have the effects that you need to further your strategy (or interfere with the opponent’s). Choosing plot cards during the game is also crucial, as timing is everything. In fact, choosing plots in a tight game is a great expression of David Sirlin’s “yomi” concept, and adds yet another fateful decision to a game that’s full of them.

The second mechanic I’ll discuss is the draw cap. Each turn, during the aptly named Draw Phase, each player draws two cards from his or her deck. Other game effects may allow a player to draw more cards, but you can never draw more than three additional cards (above the two you get in the Draw Phase). This keeps the lid on weird builds that cycle through the entire deck in a turn (as mentioned in Dragonstout’s recent Magic article) and puts the focus on tactical play and making the most of the cards in hand.

The lord and author himselfThe third mechanic that makes the game great is the Challenges phase. Challenges are the combat mechanic in the game, and the procedure is broadly similar to that of Magic (attackers vs. defenders, count up numerical strength, higher number wins, ties break to attacker). Unlike Magic, however, there are three types of challenges: military, intrigue, and power. Military challenges kill the defender’s characters. Intrigue challenges remove cards from the defender’s hand. Power challenges take power tokens from the defender’s total and add it to the attacker’s. (Accumulating power tokens – typically 15 – is the win condition in this game, but there are other ways to get them besides the power challenge.)

The challenges phase is fraught with decisions, because not every character has every icon (unlike George pictured here), and only characters with the appropriate icon can participate in that type of challenge. Additionally, defenders as well as attackers must be tapped (or knelt, as this game calls it), which means that if you play second during the turn, you may choose to take some hits in order to preserve your ability to strike back.

The diversity of challenges means that there are many ways to win. You might focus on the military challenge, killing opponents’ characters so they can’t do anything. The intrigue challenge strips the opponent of cards, which can be crippling given the aforementioned draw cap. Focus on the power challenge leads to a “rush” strategy that can result in a quick win.


OTHER COMMENTS

This game has the most airtight rules system of any I’ve played. The official FAQ breaks down the game in such lawyer-like detail that there’s virtually no room for argument during a game; in my few months playing, I’ve never seen anyone even get mildly cranky about a rules interpretation. There are a few vague spots, as is inevitable with a game like this, but none that are game-breaking.

The playerbase is exceptionally mature and friendly. No kids play this game. Everyone I’ve met playing the game – and on FFG’s forums – has been a decent guy. The douchebag factor is extremely low.

The game designer (Nate French) is very accessible. He’ll answer rules questions directly by email, and he plays regularly at the FFG Event Center.

There’s a print-and-play sample of the game on FFG’s site, and there’s also unofficial (but semi-sanctioned) online play through the OCTGN program.

I wish there was more promotion for the game. It’s hardly advertised, the league play seems largely unsupported, and there’s no new player outreach of any kind. It’s a hard game to get into, but great once you do.

If you’ve enjoyed Magic and are a fan of George R.R. Martin’s novels, you’re almost sure to like AGoT. If you don’t like his books or haven’t read them, though, you can still enjoy the game for what it is: a tightly constructed, affordable, brain-burner of a card game.

Gaming has been a hobby of mine for over twenty years. I received the red D&D box as a gift when I was about ten, and my dad bought Axis & Allies right around the same time, thus sinking the twin hooks of role playing and board gaming into me at a young age. In my teens I did my best to buy my parents out of house and home by devouring every RPG and miniature game product in sight, spending hours at the FLGS (Friendly Local Game Store, in internet parlance) playing, plotting, and idolizing the proprietor (John – who was godlike in my eyes, by simultaneously going to college, working at a game store, AND having an attractive wife who played games!).

Why my parents never cut me off is beyond me – being a spoiled only child has its advantages, I guess – and somehow my dad was able to feed the family alongside my growing habit. Naturally, though, it was mostly my mom who bought me the stuff (being both the master of coin and susceptible to my wheedling for more stuff), and this led to a shocking revelation one day when my dad took me there instead. The store had a kind of rewards program, with a punch card that got you $10 of stuff after spending $100; the cards were stored in a card file behind the register and John would keep all of your used cards stapled together, in some hall-of-shame type of deal. This was revealed when my dad went to pay for my latest purchase and John pulled my card from the file to add the punches – revealing the thick stack of already-filled cards. His eyes widened and he exclaimed, “how much has your mother spent on you in this place?” I just grinned sheepishly, knowing he could count the cards as well as I could, and he grudgingly forked over the cash. (Thanks, dad!)

At any rate, I proceeded down the parallel roads of Games Workshop hobby gaming and tabletop RPGs, eventually sinking vast amounts of my own money into the stuff. But after high school ended and my gaming friends went their separate ways for college, I found myself drifting away from the game scene. I had a hard time finding a new circle of gamers, being introverted but somehow not weird or socially awkward enough to fit in with game groups at the campus or game store – in other words, a regular guy, unable to mesh with the Asperger’s cases in the gaming population.

Some friends in college really got into Eurogames (or Euros, a genre of board games known for their abstract themes and wooden blocks), and I figured hey, I like games, let’s give this stuff a shot! I don’t remember what games they had us play (Catan was in there I’m sure, and maybe Carcassone – I didn’t do much drinking then but probably should have given his selections), but the whole time I had to make laser sound effects and pretend I was laying waste to the countryside every time I placed a wooden dude on an alpaca farm or whatever, just to keep from passing out. They laughed awkwardly and I’m sure thought I was weird, and I did too – like, hey, these are games, you used to like them, what happened?

That was ten years ago, and in the intervening years I didn’t do much gaming, mostly turning to video games instead. But recently, I figured out what bothered me about those Euros: I wanted to play games where decisions mattered, where you walked the razor-thin line between victory and defeat, life and death! Where the victor would be decided in a battle of wits and with bare bloody fists (expertly abstracted by a series of dice rolls, natch), not by using a spreadsheet to calculate the optimum path!

So, in the last six months, I’ve returned full force to the gaming hobby, buying boxes of cardboard and plastic shit left and right and geeking out on rulebooks and gaming websites nonstop. To Mrs. Melobi’s credit, she’s taking it in stride, as she has with all of my hobbies – and she actually enjoys this one! It’s great fun, but the stuff piles up fast. Hopefully we can move next year before our house sinks into the earth, because I’m pretty sure we’ve exceeded the load rating for this place, having crammed more stuff in here than I ever thought possible.

NGB contractors

Typical government contractors are rather hairy

Last week I made my first trip to the National Guard’s Professional Education Center (naturally abbreviated to PEC), in Little Rock. It was a gathering of the several states to discuss the ongoing Active Directory consolidation project that’s sweeping the nation, leaving a trail of angry sysadmins and frustrated users in its wake.

I arrived in Little Rock after dark and stepped outside the airport terminal to find the alleged shuttle bus that would take me to PEC. I saw a white-painted school bus that was labeled for the Guard’s GED Plus program (two attendees of such I sat next to on the plane, incidentally), but that clearly wasn’t what I wanted, so I waited. Before long, a woman waddled forth from the bus, with a troll-like face (complete with wart) and blonde hair trailing most of the way down her back – but cut above her ears in the most astonishing mullet I’ve ever seen. To top it off, she wore an Army PT jacket that must’ve been XXL, falling around her like a robe.

“You goin’ to PEC?,” she croaked as she walked by. “Yes ma’am,” I responded. “You can get on my bus. I’ll drop you off.”

I hopped on with the couple of other passengers and breathed in the weird combination of baby powder and stinking vinyl seats as the PT-clad troll lady steered the bus away from the terminal. She flogged that Blue Bird for all it was worth along I-30 and two billboards stood out along the way: one was just all-caps text: “GOING TO JAIL?,” with a phone number; the other was, “Hit by a Big Rig?,” and another number. Lots of people getting rear-ended by semis on their way to county, apparently.

The next day I made my way across the street to the classroom where I convened with the representatives from other states. About 30 states were in attendance – giving us quorum, as the lieutenant colonel from Guard Bureau reminded us – ranging from specialists to lieutenant colonels and everything in between. I of course managed to sit next to an evolution of That Guy, hailing from New York, who of course knew everything and was disdainful of the whole thing. At one point (in response to what, I don’t remember) he whipped out his Benchmade folder and said, grinning, “I’d rather just shank ‘em instead!” I laughed and replied, “way to live up to the New Yorker stereotype.” He took that as a compliment, elaborating that, “airport security only cares about guns…!” I left that one hanging and returned to my web surfing.

Amen

This captures the general mood pretty well

The day started placidly enough, but before long, the states were virtually in full revolt, as the NGB guys told us how our admin rights were going to be taken away (or at least, restricted). I just sat back and enjoyed the furor, since the die was cast already and my role was just to collect information and provide minor input. After all, as one of the Haradrim in service to the Dark Lord, the affairs of other tribes concern me little…

After the session on the second day, which included a strange poker-chip-bidding exercise and a rancorous discussion about how to name computers on the domain, I bailed for the airport. Naturally, black clouds loomed on the horizon and the radio blared tornado warnings for the Little Rock area. Luckily, I arrived at the airport with a few hours to spare – or so I thought, as just when I sat down to tuck in to some serious Tactics Ogre on the PSP, they announced that the terminal was being evacuated. We were herded into the basement, crammed almost shoulder-to-shoulder, which wouldn’t ordinarily bother me except that I was surrounded by smartphones, which appeared in everyone’s hands to announce to the world our impending deaths. I’ll probably get brain cancer as a result of that trip to the basement, because the radio frequency density in there must’ve been out of this world.

I was prepared for a good, long, sweaty stay in the crowded stairwell, but the thing blew over in about five minutes – just long enough to inconvenience everyone. What proved more inconvenient, though, was that the basement was outside the secured area, so every person in the terminal had to be re-screened by security. Needless to say, this caused me to be scheduled to leave too late to catch my connecting flight in Dallas. Luckily, the nice lady hooked me up with an alternate flight to Chicago and thence home, which was better than spending the night somewhere. Still, the trip (from arrival at the airport to getting home) took over eight hours, which isn’t much faster than driving.

The flight from Little Rock to Chicago was understandably quite bumpy, though not severely so – or so I thought. About twenty in the minutes into the flight, the little Asian woman behind me started barfing – and in reaction, I had to stifle hysterical laughter. I’m not sure why it was so funny – I felt bad for her – but maybe it was the stock sound effect that she was making, like “blarghghgwarghghgwarghghgh,” seemed so over-the-top as to be fake. Meanwhile, the guy next to me hastily grabbed his Bose noise-canceling headphones at the first sound of chunks being blown, while also frantically grabbing at his arm rest every time the plane hit a bump. The poor woman threw up at least six more times (including once after landing), and the flight attendants wouldn’t get up during flight because of the turbulence, so I guess she sat there with a pile of full barf bags the whole time.

In three short months, I’ll begin another mobilization. We’ve known about this one for a long time, and its approach has cast a long shadow across almost everything I’ve done for the last year. Most notable has been its effect on my purchases – most everything has been run through the deployment filter, sorted into categories of “don’t buy this, won’t need it next year” or “better buy this, will need it in the war” or “doesn’t matter either way.”

As an example, I bought a Kindle recently, which will eliminate the vast piles of books I had to deal with last time around. On the other hand, I haven’t bought anything for my drum set lately, since that falls firmly in the “won’t need it next year” bin. Hell, there are video games that I’m holding off on playing, saving them up to make sure I have a meaty backlog when the boredom of the desert comes into full effect.

The differences between this deployment and the last will be a continuing theme, and truthfully I’m sick of the comparisons already. I embarked on the last trip with a sort of wide-eyed innocence and full receptivity to any experience that came at me. Now, I’m more or less a crusty old NCO, much more experienced and capable, but also more crotchety and jaded. Instead of a grand, potentially tragic adventure at the dawn of the war in Iraq, now I’m faced with returning to the same war at its end, faced largely with drudgery and boredom. (Of course, last time was also full of drudgery and boredom, but I didn’t know that’s what awaited us – I (like most others) assumed it would be the fight of our lives.) I must improve my attitude before we go, though, because otherwise I’ll be largely miserable. The only thing that kept me going during the last trip was my willingness to roll with the punches and to just experience the damn thing, to the extent possible. I must seek to recreate that mindset.

And yet, it’ll still be a year-long disruption, a sandy time capsule into which I’ll be placed, to emerge a year later, hopefully with sanity mostly intact. Life will still go on at home, as I while away the days, hours, minutes in the desert, plotting for my inevitable return and the resumption of life in “the world.”

Ice Truckers: Army edition

Ice Truckers: Army edition

Some people think this is what Minnesota looks like all year long. They’re wrong, of course; it only looks like this for six months out of the year.

Truly, it is a Bastion of the North at our fine camp, with sub-zero temperatures and packed-snow roads that all but guarantee hilarity for soldiers shod in desert boots. The rubber used in our soles is useless below freezing, being optimized for the 160-degree heat of Iraq, as it hardens and is akin to walking on snow with plastic lunch trays attached to your feet.

Luckily, the Signal Corps trains indoors, so my ten-day stay here will be mostly warm. Not so luckily, the first day was wasted, since CECOM forgot to send an instructor for the training.

A bunch of our equipment got refurbished and sent back to us, so that naturally means retraining – it’s about a six-week process to re-field the gear and retrain all the operators. The piece I’m here to learn about – which I’m not convinced is even relevant to me or the rest of Team S6, but that’s another story – is network operations & management. All the other pieces seem to have their instructors on the ground, but not ours – despite a month’s worth of prodding by our project coordinator here. Whoops! So, CECOM is rushing a guy out here as I type (or may have already arrived, with an anal cavity freshly inspected, courtesy of TSA), along with a bunch of crap via FedEx overnight (at massive expense to the taxpayer, I’m sure).

Speaking of Team S6, I think we’re going to need a name. I’ve named third squad “Hellraisers,” and I’ve said that if I become the platoon sergeant we’ll be the “Mud Bugs,” but in the brigade headquarters, squads and platoons don’t mean anything. It’s all about the sections – so what would fit? Greased Lightning? Electric Bulls? Hell’s Bloody Welcomers? Team RCGF? (Right-Click, Get Fucked!)

Winter Dueler...

Even the Winter Duelers were no use

Our next truck will have 4 wheel drive and our next house will be in the suburbs.

Those are the two main lessons of Snowpocalypse 2010, a storm that I suppose will go down in memory like the Halloween blizzard of 1991, except that it actually happened during winter, which means it may just be subsumed into the general misery of Minnesota’s famous season.

The first lesson may seem obvious, but it’s easy to forget that while we average 45.6″ of snow a year (source: Minnesota Climatology Working Group), it is usually spread out over five months (6-9″ per month, November through March). This makes for easy driving and quick clearing by the legions of plow trucks in the state’s employ.

Snow tires on the rear-wheel drive truck have been adequate (even good) for the last 3 seasons, but these conditions proved to be too much. It didn’t help that our street didn’t see a plow until about 6:30 PM Sunday, over 24 hours after the last snow fell.

So close

So close and yet so far

Just north of our house (by one block) is another city (as pictured at right), and it was with great frustration that I saw that the side streets north of the boundary were already plowed curb-to-curb by Sunday afternoon, while south of it (just 50 feet away! at bottom of photo) snow was piled up as if on a backcountry road.

Mrs. Melobi was sick all weekend and I didn’t have anywhere to go, so I was content to stay home, but by midday Sunday the cabin fever was starting to set in. Maddeningly, I saw cars drive by that had no right to be in snow that deep, and yet seemed to be traversing the shin-deep ruts without difficulty. I knew, though, that either of our vehicles would be doomed should I dare venture out of the driveway – and I raged. It was almost as if everyone else was driving in a world with different physical laws. How else would that little Toyota Corolla be driving around in a blizzard? How did that minivan survive, when the snow between the ruts was up to the grill and the woman driving had the gas pedal to the floor, tires howling on packed snow as she plowed that snow at 5 miles per hour (with the speedo at 40 or 50)?

Maybe the difference wasn’t physics but foolhardiness – with nowhere to go and the risk so high, my mind boggled at the prospect of even making the attempt. But next time, it won’t be an issue, since we’ll be living in a suburb that plows.

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